First Cut Feedback
The narrative is a little difficult to follow, but once we get into the 'dream' and back out again it becomes clear. You have used some variety on camera shots, movement etc, and built up good sequences with match on action etc. You have also clearly managed to learn a lot about After Effects in a very short time, your logo is particularly impressive.
The pace of the dream is a little slow, but some sound effects etc. should help this along. Perhaps think of adding flash transitions or some colour correction to make this more obvious.
Nice blur effect on the dream sequence (but reduce it on the reply from the girl, as we can't read her text)
In order to help you improve this you could think about the following:
The logo needs a sound effect under it
create the link into the dream sequence
Sound effects in the dream sequence
sort out the sound under the dream sequence - use effects, not music (this shouldn't have the conventions of a trailer)
Add your titles
possibly re-record the second reply - the light shining on it makes it impossible to read.
Fix the 'all right I'm coming with a sound bridge, this will make it more realistic,
Well done, and keep improving, this cold be a good solid film.
Miss Spencer
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